Phew...
I'm doing my assignment on Anger and listening to Rob Thomas while my friends in S'pore and India are enjoying their Deepavali celebrations =.= I'm trying to write a rather beautiful and "capturing" paper. It's not easy... Brrr. Especially, when I'm still struggling here. The feeling of me missing Ta has disappeared ever since we went to the sea the other day. Sometimes, I forget that he's gone. It doesn't feel too right for me. And sometimes, I don't even think of him as if he never came into this world... the imperfect world of chaos.
I've to admit, I'm really down. I don't like being with people anymore. I don't feel like going out. I don't feel like doing anything for anyone. I just want to be by myself doing what I 'have' to and not do things for others 'voluntarily'. It doesn't sound exactly like the 'me' that I was a month ago. I HAVE issues. And I guess I haven't taken enough time to deal with them and pull myself together. I'm basically, living each day as I desire. The desire to just be by myself and myself only. Everyone is probably thinking what has gotten into me. But right now, I don't really care. I just want to be alone...
The feeling of nothingness has seized me. It's like I don't see things worthy anymore. Like I said, my sadness turned into anger and rebelliousness and now, it has turned to nothingness. My feelings are weird. And I wonder how long more will I be this way. Cuz I don't like the 'me' that I'm being. I'm so outgoing and sincere. Now, I'm basically antagonistic and reserved. And to add to that... boring.
Sigh. I guess I have to start picking up the pieces... right away. Cuz this stuff is not just troubling me but many others around me <<< not easy >>>
