December has come :)

Woo Hoo! December has arrived! I don't know why i'm so excited but yes, i am. It's when i reflect back on my past year and plan for my new year resolution. How organized! But yes, SO FAR, 2009 resolution has been done. SO FAR... its cuz 2009 isn't over yet. And that the last 2 weeks of dec could probably ruin it. But then again, i'm hoping it doesn't.

Jazz Charity Concert @ muic

The Charity Concert sponsored by Thai Airways turned out really well for some reason. It was held in an open area with tall trees and we had to put mats to sit around. Pretty good. And all the songs were jazzy so it was relaxing too. The money from the sales of food, mats and T-shirts go to one of the children homes in Nakhon Pathom. And about 10 kids around 4 years of age from that home came too. They were so adorable, thanking us in unison. Definitely put in some time and effort to memorize that. Haha. And one sang songs too. Pretty fun. I'm glad I attended it. It was one of those concerts organized for charity and the atmosphere was something you don't really get often for a concert.
PEACE XD

Another success :D

Today's celebration, party, "get to know" session was a success, I think. Around 70 kids and probably another 30 adults came along. It was nice to see. We started with devotionals, having the kids chant a couple of prayers. Then, we had a presentation. It wasn't so great cuz the kids were all making noise. I mean, the presentation was good and obviously, we can't expect the kids to sit through something not so their level. Then, we had performances. Also a big hit. We had like, what... 5 performances (3 of dance, a song, & a drama). All performances were done by different groups of CC so it was sort of a variety. And the JYs also came up to share their learning experiences. Some were shy. But it's really normal. The shy-ness will only go away when they do more of it :)

So I guess we now know more friends and people. And also, with today's stuff, parents did agree to have a new CC begin in one of their homes. Age 3-5. They're supporting it so it's a good sign. And then one of the grandma of the CC came up to me and asked for my permission. I was a little shocked. Then she explained saying that she likes the idea that we teachers are very warm and nice to the kids. And she sees a connection between us and the children. And she wants to have this point shared in her grand-daughter's school during their monthly meetings with 70 other parents. To let everyone know how a learning place should really be. She was thanking me and she wai  me. That was weird. Come on, no adult should ever wai any younger person. I guess she was really sincere about it. She also did mention that she sees a change in her grand children. I'm glad that the CC is creating a transformation in the children's lives. Furthermore, at the end of the day, as they all left, we were so surprised at how clean the place was. I mean, having 70 children eat and play there.... we didn't exactly expect it to be neat and clean. But of course, we didn't envision it to be dirty and untidy either. We were just impressed. So, maybe all these lessons taught and time spent with them isn't going to waste anymore...

Another success story to be kept and retold :D

Weekend

I haven't really been up to anything extremely interesting lately. Gym-gym with May yesterday morning, Reflecton meeting yesterday afternoon, Salsa fest last night... :P Long day it was, yet fun.

Last Friday afternoon, I was at the doctors. They gave me a new appointment (on next fri). In the evening, visited Scotland to meet the children. I felt happy to see the kids and they were glad to see me (all smiles).

Now, writing the report for EC tmrw. I'm surprised of how much I have done in so little time. Normally, I sit right in front of it for hours. However, NOT today. I guess it was cuz i didnt go online :P

Today's Children's Class was great too. I had fun although i didnt prepare the lesons well enough. I'm amazed that even after a month break, they can still remember the quotes... Credits to them :D They drew pretty cool stuff too. Told them to draw how they could help the community... One boy, he drew himself saving the dead. I was like "UMM... how again?" And then, he started explaining. ...He being the paramedics arriving at the accident scene and help carry the body away. LOL. How interesting children's imagination could be. Then, we praticed our chanting for next week's party... Was fun :)
Can't wait for next week's party :D

Oh man... And so, another weekend comes to an end. Another week of classes... assignments and so on... BRRRR...
Yet, I'm looking forward :D
PEACE XD

Feeling of Nothingness

Phew...

I'm doing my assignment on Anger and listening to Rob Thomas while my friends in S'pore and India are enjoying their Deepavali celebrations =.= I'm trying to write a rather beautiful and "capturing" paper. It's not easy... Brrr. Especially, when I'm still struggling here. The feeling of me missing Ta has disappeared ever since we went to the sea the other day. Sometimes, I forget that he's gone. It doesn't feel too right for me. And sometimes, I don't even think of him as if he never came into this world... the imperfect world of chaos.

I've to admit, I'm really down. I don't like being with people anymore. I don't feel like going out. I don't feel like doing anything for anyone. I just want to be by myself doing what I 'have' to and not do things for others 'voluntarily'. It doesn't sound exactly like the 'me' that I was a month ago. I HAVE issues. And I guess I haven't taken enough time to deal with them and pull myself together. I'm basically, living each day as I desire. The desire to just be by myself and myself only. Everyone is probably thinking what has gotten into me. But right now, I don't really care. I just want to be alone...

The feeling of nothingness has seized me. It's like I don't see things worthy anymore. Like I said, my sadness turned into anger and rebelliousness and now, it has turned to nothingness. My feelings are weird. And I wonder how long more will I be this way. Cuz I don't like the 'me' that I'm being. I'm so outgoing and sincere. Now, I'm basically antagonistic and reserved. And to add to that... boring.

Sigh. I guess I have to start picking up the pieces... right away. Cuz this stuff is not just troubling me but many others around me <<< not easy >>>

Three Weeks of Overwhelmingness

The last three weeks have been really overwhelming, tiring and emotional. I lost two people in my life... whom influenced me in atleast a way and definitely more, I'm sure.
First was Ta, he was such a great person. He inspired me till his very last moment. We spoke and had fun together all these years. Unfotunately, he had to leave due to liver cancer which we found out 2 years ago. Somedays, I forget that he isn't around anymore. I feel his presence around me till today although when I walk up to his room, he isn't there physically. I miss him...
Second was Ritiki... the friend who was always so patient and brave... always listened to people... She was just beautiful both inside and out. I still remember the week we spent our Christmas and New Year together having long talks and chilling out with others. She used to give my head massages which always felt so good. She was just comforting me when Ta died. And 12 days later, she leaves :(
I felt so numb. Death happened all too quickly for me. I didn't have any feelings when Ritiki left and I just didn't know how to feel. Her death was sudden...
It's been only 5 days since Ritiki left. I'm trying to understand my feelings. However, as times passes, this sadness of mine is turning into anger and rebelliousness. I feel stubborn and agitated when things don't go exactly the way I want them too. We're all defeated by death so I know it's not just me who's feeling this way. I need help, but I don't know in what way. This week has just been tough. Assignments are flooding in and I can't not do them and say that I lost someone. It's just not right. I guess I need to learn to move on... quickly. I'm trying, I am. It's just hard. And I hate myself to feel this way... The rebelliousness is so not me :(
I need to get well...

R.I.P Ta & Ritiki...

Summer '09

*phew*
I have to admit that I'm glad that summer's coming to an end in a couple of days. It's just that ever since I came back from KL, life for me has just been boring and "unproductive". I've just been doing lesson plans for Children's Class, watching movie after movie (sometimes, I just love the dvd stores), discussing about Nonthaburi's status and the solution, surfing the net on average more than 2.5 hours a day (which is abnormal for a person like me, especially through my mobile). Sigh, not healthy. And of course, preparing for the trip to Battambang, I'm excited though. I'm travelling so much this holiday.

I'm currently, looking forward to next summer. Don't really know why. I just had a great time this year. Apart from the last 2 weeks, I had a very productive summer. From being back home in Singapore for a week which I had fun with friends and family although I really wish I was there longer, the 2 weeks spent in Omkoi allowing Setafire to be another success, and the 1 week spent in Malaysia with the coolest people I know, it was all memorable :)

The Court and Me

Oh man, it's been a while since I stepped on that court. And when I did yesterday, that was it... The feeling was remarkably indescribable. I felt like I was me. Being on the court, has always calmed me down. It's almost like the feeling of me being in the bathroom, and no one could do a thing to me all because I'm in the washroom. I felt like I could do anything on that court... Jump as high as I wish, run as fast as I want, throw the ball as hard as I desire, and nobody could stop me, all because that's what we do on that court! There were 10 others on that court, and it still didn't matter to me.

As we know, the coach could change, so could the teammates. But the thing that I felt that didn't differ from the many times I have played in the past, was the court. Every moment I felt tired and took a break from the runs and passes, I got right back up onto my feet to go on playing. I don't quite know what helped me up there.

Then there was a time when we were doing circuits and fast passes, I tripped on my footwork and fell onto the ground, hurt my "already injured" ankle. A part of me was waiting for some senior to come pick me up. But then, I knew, no one will help me up. Maybe they would but they wouldn't in the future. With this, I feel quite nostalgic for SL.

Coach wants me to take these trainings more seriously and go for more sessions. But I don't see why I should. After all, I'm just there to enjoy the session. Still, he has a point.

It isn't as easy as I had thought. It needs so much of effort, endurance and perseverance to just go through the training session. It also takes me 2 hours to get to that court. But then, a cousin of mine questioned, "What's 2 hours of a life-time?" After reading that and another from Pomi saying, "So what if it's 2 hours? If it makes you feel like your at the top of the world then why not?", I agreed that they have a point. They're right. What will that 2 hours do to me? And I go there for the feel. Like said, the feeling of being on that court and being so focussed to the thing I enjoy refreshes me. So screw the 2-hour ride.

Setafire 09 is done

Hmm... a year went by so fast. Another Setafire camp also went in the blink of an eye. All the excitement and longing disappeared, but now, again, it begins for the next one in 2010. Whatever it is, this year's Setafire was another success story to be kept and retold. Like always, there were ups and downs. However, we all managed to handle them well enough to pull through that 2 weeks together.

Worked with the human beings who were excited to come back to Thailand or Omkoi to be specific. Everyone was energetic and ready. Nadia was another great person. She was tough and strong. She made my trip there worth the 9-hour bus ride :P And of course the others, Natasha, Scott, Sears, Kavin and yes, the new additions to the team, Ping and P Aek. The souls which were moved by the people in Omkoi. And not forgetting the youths who came back to help us. P Fah and Sayan. There were many who couldn't be there physically. But they were supporting us from wherever they were. And the team approeciates it.

I didn't get to spend time with the team out of Omkoi that much. Didn't really have one of those long talks with my dearest Pine. But we did hang out... Kao Soi and Banana Strips were remembered from the last Setafire. And as always, there's something new to treasure and ponder upon over and over again...
~"Nadia, Nadia with your long golden hair"~
~Scott's rapping video~
~Painting the place~
~My banana cravings~
~The old saggy dog~
I'm sure that there's more. Just can't really remember them all right now. But we will as we meet all over again.

Next year, we've got plans. YAY! But it's a year from now. Sigh. I'm just glad that all of us made use of summer breaks in the right way. And yes, we have to thank the Omkoi youths for being part of our camp. Without them, Setafire wouldn't be complete.

From me personally, I had a great time. I learnt a lot. And I can't wait for the one next year :D
Thanking everyone who helped in Setafire 09 for sacrificing their time, adjusting to the difficult circumstances and giving in all their efforts.

Omkoi brings the best in people~~

Sociology 113

Yesterday’s sociology was interesting. We talked about marriage in different cultures. What do women in North America marry for? And what do women in Asia (India) marry for? People don’t necessary marry because of love. In certain cultures, people marry because they are forced or their marriage was arranged.

Women in N. America mostly don’t marry for support. These women are, generally, independent. They go for men who are emotional and sentimental. Someone who would take them to a symphony concert! They don’t need a man to support their daily life. Thus, they do not hesitate to divorce when they fall out of love. Dale talked about a friend of his who has divorced and gotten married 8 times. EIGHT! Wow! All because that she is well-educated and does not need a man who she doesn’t love in her life.

While women in India, are forced to marry men who are wealthy and educated. So, that they are supported throughout their lives. Even when they fall out of love, they will still have to live with that dude. Half of the time, these women weren’t even in love with their husbands when they got married as they were forced to get married.

So basically, education makes a difference to women’s lives. Who they marry depend on how educated they are. This idea of who a woman marries depend on her education never came to my mind. I never thought of it this way. But after Dale talked about it, I started to agree.