Learning to Love to Respect

There was a sudden inspiration of what it means to respect. It’s been a quality which I have been thinking a lot about, and something I really would love to strive day in day out to be good at. I often thought to respect was to not be rude, but I’m learning it’s much more. 

Since young, I was often taught to respect: to be polite to people around me especially those elder. Growing up, I had a reputation for being impolite and was often chastised for this misbehavior. And it took me years (not like I have mastered it completely now) to learn to use the right words when expressing my thoughts and feelings and to learn to smile more; I seem to have a serious face according to many. 

But now as I am a grown person and I’m left to make the decisions for my actions which would affect the person I want to become; I’m starting to realize that to be respectful is to also be considerate for the feelings and rights of another. I still don’t quite know what it means really but the more I think about it, the more I’m reminded of how the wishes of another is as important as my own, considering the fact that when I want something, I expect that others would provide for me whether it is physical or emotional support. And I guess it is the same for when it comes to others, giving them their wishes is also respecting them and I suppose it can only be born out of love for them. But I also believe that respect is connected more to the intangible services: the space for reflection, the right to certain thoughts and feelings. 

I’m also thinking of how the feeling of admiration for someone’s qualities and abilities is also a form of respect since we do know well that to become a capable person or a wonderful individual filled with numerous qualities requires so much of hard work and effort; and those are really the people somehow we yearn to know. And if we were to think of it that way, we’re supposed to respect everyone since everyone has been created noble and are filled with various talents and capabilities; and usually would have worked to get to where they are by exercising their volition which is literally not easy. 

Just last night, as I sat with a group of twelve 14 year-olds, and explored concepts such as volition, free will and fate, I was blessed to see their eyes twinkled of hope when we realized that we were not fated to be below ordinary. Though true enough, it is our fate to have been born to certain social or economic conditions, it does not define who we are. What matters more is what we choose to do with what we have been given at hand - the pattern we want to weave out of those yarns and loom given. As I witnessed such hope in these young people and their endeavor to understand such concepts and to do something about it, my respect for them grew as well. I felt so grateful at the same time to have known them and hope that this beautiful friendship I have with them will one day impact the choices they make in their lives, probably the choices I make as well. 

Hmm… I suppose it would take me more than a lifetime to truly understand what it means to respect. I guess it’s with words and actions; and a lot of understanding and appreciation. 

“I hope that each one of you will become just, and direct your thoughts towards the unity of mankind; that you will never harm your neighbours nor speak ill of any one; that you will respect the rights of all men, and be more concerned for the interests of others than for your own. ”  ~ ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

Committing to December

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It's December once again. I'm looking forward to the end of this year as I would be hanging out with my bestie, Pine Pine. And I'm currently on a water diet for 3 days that was recommended by a friend to "cleanse" my body... so far, I'm still alive.

Anyhow... these past few months have been one of the biggest learning of my life. I was committed to numerous tasks and opportunities that I felt extremely busy and happy with. And yet I know, the next few months will get busier and hopefully, happier and more fulfilling. When I think about it, life really doesn't wait for anyone. And, it gets busier by the minute, just because as we grow so does our capacity for responsibilities; no matter how we might feel like we're not ready.

I'm thinking a lot about what it means to be committed to anything. Words like dedication, long-term, pledge, future come up when I search "commit" into my dictionary. Hmm... now methinks, it probably doesn't matter what the end result is; what matters is the effort we put into something for the task we have committed to. And I suppose it's the joy that we derive from being committed as well. Of course, there are many things we cannot totally achieve but I really believe, really really believe, if we try, nothing is unworkable or impossible.

When we set our mind to something, I presume we all are ready to give our heart and mind. We would labor so hard to keep our word and I guess for me, I would try to have faith as well. I have faith that at the end of anything, I would learn. I would learn to give more, to cherish more, to smile more and to sacrifice more. I suppose nothing goes by without that learning process.

But, can there be such a thing that the task gets too difficult that we end it midway? Sometimes, it could get clear that it's beyond our capacity, do we continue on the path just because we have committed to it, or does that allow us to leave and go? Hmmm... not an easy decision I suppose. Oh well, I'm beginning to believe more and more each day that everything will be okay.

Like the farmers who plant rice. They are so committed to plant and get a good harvest but after all that effort, they could easily lose everything thanks to a flood. I guess this is just an example of going all out to achieve something and was clearly proven that it was against God's will. And in most cases, life doesn't test us to a point that we should give up. And I guess, to be committed also means to be detached from the results. We just keep going and I'm sure a more right path will show itself. Eventually, everything will be okay.

"The plant most pruned by the gardeners is that one which, when the summer comes, will have the most beautiful blossoms and the most abundant fruit. The laborer cuts up the earth with his plough, and from that earth comes the rich and plentiful harvest. The more man is chastened, the greater is the harvest of spiritual virtues shown forth by him."

Then and Now

Taking life back to July 2014. 
Graduation.
A time to look back. A time to appreciate. A time to move forward.

I didn't think I would feel any accomplished but I kinda do. Just a little bit and that puts a smile across my face. Nonetheless as known, it is only the beginning... The beginning to something unexpected, surprising, scary and perhaps, fulfilling.

As I listened to the Dean and her fellow professors speak words of wisdom on this journey of life, I cannot stop to ponder of how much I have been made to face in this lifetime. I cannot stop but think of how far I have come. I could have died any day, but I didn't. To have lived up to this moment, is both an opportunity and a blessing. A hope for tomorrow: to learn, to reflect, to love, to smile, to live the moment, to inspire and to be inspired. And ultimately, to live up to what I have been created for.

Life is not easy. But the more I think of my challenges, the more I realize the tests of another are far greater than mine. So I have no right to make mention of my difficulties. But I think it's important to be conscious, to be aware of our shortcomings, misfortunes and sorrows. This would only make us live life more mindfully and cheerfully; would remind us each time we're ready to grumble of how it's not worthwhile to; would only make us laugh and smile more... and cherish... for every test is a healing medicine.

The picture of each of our lives are different. The stories we narrate are partially in our control but not entirely. So, it's only important we put ourselves in and out of our stories from time to time for there is only so much we could do.

“The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say”

It has also been a year since the loss of my dear brother. And honestly, the more we tell ourselves of how much we feel healed, we are proven wrong. We don't quite move on from it, it grows deeper into us, gets rooted and anchored, and feels like it will never leave our hearts. Then it hits, we are weak. Tears could roll down the cheeks uncontrollably, days become paralyzed in a daze, thoughts run wild of what could have been done differently.... and yet, all that love reveals itself somewhere in some form... yes, there was love. And I guess it's true, love is powerful, it may not heal all but it heals some, reassures a little and every once in a while, it could bring about smiles and laughter. And I tell myself, what's important is the moment we have been given now... it is truly a blessing. 

"My calamity is My providence, outwardly it is fire and vengeance, but inwardly it is light and mercy. "

On a Bus

It's been way too long away from the blog just cuz I've been contemplating the thought of giving up blogging completely. I haven't had much inspiration or anything worthy to share. But here I am now, on my way to Cambodia once more. The trip is exhausting but I'm kinda looking forward to having a good time and learning something new.

Life as a grown up hasn't been all that smooth after all but I have had worse days so this is nothing to me. I always thought if I were to complete my studies, people would leave me alone to pursue my aspirations. But I guess not. Everyone worries for my future which I have no clue why. I always understood it as I would be answerable for my actions so regardless of what I do or where I am, if my future becomes hopeless, I'll live by the choices I have made. So why are people so worried for me seriously?

Just because I live in the mountains doesn't mean I don't have a life or I don't have/think about the future. I actually get a lot of time to do all the thinking and reflection that I want, all the reading of good books, all the amazing views of the valleys and the good times with young people. Eventually it isn't my place forever, that I know. But I learned that planning for the future can be mind-boggling too. I think I have done enough planning and as much as I know what I want, I'm not too much of a risk-taker when it comes to almost everything except for some traveling I guess. I'm not that courageous afterall. Other weaknesses of mine include mornings, alarm clocks and cats ;)

One of my favorite spots

2014... Another 365 days

It's time to do some blogging. Although I don't have anything particularly interesting this time. I'm inspired to write the uninspired. If that makes any sense. Just sitting by the river with a latte and hoping and praying no reptile will crawl up behind me. 

At the back of my mind thinking, "2014 better be better". For the first time, I have no New Year resolution and the fact that this doesn't bother me is strange. I've completely let things be and let life take me wherever it wishes. No plan. No expectation. Because I've learnt that life knows best and things happen for a reason whether I wish for it to happen or not. The only good plan I have is to do some traveling towards the end of this year. Perhaps, stop caring about the world too much but hopefully be of some good use to some people. And finally, be happy. So maybe these could be my resolution afterall.  

Saying Hello to 2014 with some tasty food

And saying Goodbye to 2013 with some young people by the river