Then and Now

Taking life back to July 2014. 
Graduation.
A time to look back. A time to appreciate. A time to move forward.

I didn't think I would feel any accomplished but I kinda do. Just a little bit and that puts a smile across my face. Nonetheless as known, it is only the beginning... The beginning to something unexpected, surprising, scary and perhaps, fulfilling.

As I listened to the Dean and her fellow professors speak words of wisdom on this journey of life, I cannot stop to ponder of how much I have been made to face in this lifetime. I cannot stop but think of how far I have come. I could have died any day, but I didn't. To have lived up to this moment, is both an opportunity and a blessing. A hope for tomorrow: to learn, to reflect, to love, to smile, to live the moment, to inspire and to be inspired. And ultimately, to live up to what I have been created for.

Life is not easy. But the more I think of my challenges, the more I realize the tests of another are far greater than mine. So I have no right to make mention of my difficulties. But I think it's important to be conscious, to be aware of our shortcomings, misfortunes and sorrows. This would only make us live life more mindfully and cheerfully; would remind us each time we're ready to grumble of how it's not worthwhile to; would only make us laugh and smile more... and cherish... for every test is a healing medicine.

The picture of each of our lives are different. The stories we narrate are partially in our control but not entirely. So, it's only important we put ourselves in and out of our stories from time to time for there is only so much we could do.

“The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say”

It has also been a year since the loss of my dear brother. And honestly, the more we tell ourselves of how much we feel healed, we are proven wrong. We don't quite move on from it, it grows deeper into us, gets rooted and anchored, and feels like it will never leave our hearts. Then it hits, we are weak. Tears could roll down the cheeks uncontrollably, days become paralyzed in a daze, thoughts run wild of what could have been done differently.... and yet, all that love reveals itself somewhere in some form... yes, there was love. And I guess it's true, love is powerful, it may not heal all but it heals some, reassures a little and every once in a while, it could bring about smiles and laughter. And I tell myself, what's important is the moment we have been given now... it is truly a blessing. 

"My calamity is My providence, outwardly it is fire and vengeance, but inwardly it is light and mercy. "