Simple Life

Mini Crossroads?

2012-03-11T03:49:00.002+07:00

Recently, I've come to learn that whatever that I had chosen to study three years ago, may not exactly be what I truly want to do in life. It's kind of sad, having to only realize this when you're only a year or so away from finishing college. Upon realization, my entire motivation to complete this course was obscured. I'm not sure anymore why I have to sit late hours in the night attempting to write my papers or the saddest of all, to start writing my thesis in a few months' time which would take me a whole year to complete. But certainly, I'm trying to tell myself that learning is a life-long process and nothing that we choose to learn or come to learn of can have negative effects on us. Our brain needs food constantly, thus, I guess I shouldn't feel as if I wasted all this time for nothing.

Nevertheless, I'm still putting a lot of thought into what goes on after this. For sure, I need to make sure I get through the next one year as I've come this far but after that, perhaps, I can choose what's most suitable for me and my community. It's still not clear however, about what I would like to pursue my career in as I'm keen in a number of things and those things look like they would do me better and make me happier. Among all the things I'm interested in truly doing, I'm trying to make sure that they're not just what I would like to do but rather, how I can use the knowledge gained from there for the benefit of others. I know not everyone thinks the way I do, but I have to admit, it's a pretty rough world out there and I'm not sure I can survive without having to compromise my principles which I'm certainly hoping that I would never have to encounter such a situation.

Despite all these many thoughts, ideas and reflection going through my head, I'm at all times, trying to tell myself that I have to focus as of where I am right now. I shouldn't worry of what happens a year from now or that everything I have learnt is wasted. I should just focus and maybe... maybe, somewhere in the time to come, the picture would be much clearer and there would be this sense of great relief that everything is so clear that I need not had to worry at all. So, I hope this will be all clearer to me :)

I love how life always has something interesting to offer ;)

A Sad Story...

2012-01-27T23:47:00.001+07:00

Today, I witnessed a sad story, right outside my house... I saw a girl perhaps between 15 and17 standing and crying and there was an older guy holding her. She screamed sharply and this guy starting slapping her face and pulling her hair. He would stop every time there was someone passing by. And he kept saying to her that she shouldn't scream anymore and threaten her until she cried and screamed all over again. And the guy would repeat it all over again, hitting her and threatening her. I watched from afar yet I pity the girl. She was helpless, she couldn't run, she couldn't voice her thoughts, she was in a dangerous and sad situation. Over the 15 minutes that I observed them, I was contemplating so hard how I could help. I mean, who am I supposed to call in such a situation? Passers-by came around but no one did anything, it was like these two young people were invisible and that the girl being bullied and hit was a natural thing to be happening around. I then decided to get out and tell the guy to at least not hit the girl but talk to her gently with respect. But I knew if I were to do so, I was risking my security, basically he knows my house and he knows my face. It was a total risk but as I contemplated, I quickly walked out of my house, quietly said a prayer and told myself I was doing the right thing. As I walked towards them, they both turn to look at me, and as they saw that I was not going to go anywhere else but to approach them and see what was going on, the girl turned around, with tears in her eyes, she looked at me and she walked away from my house gate, probably embarrassed or humiliated or just didn't want me to be a part of her personal life. Even though she walked away, I studied the guy who was looking right back at me, I studied him quietly and when he realized I was going to say something to him, he walked away too... I felt bad, I should have voiced out earlier... Few seconds later, this girl cried out the loudest of screams, and I just felt helpless, I wanted to help but I just didn't know how. And what occurred to me more than this situation was, how many... how many other young people around the country, or world who are experiencing this particular pressure, or particular idea that they are in love and that the other person loves them back? I know there are so many others out there, even adults who struggle to deal with such a situation and they struggle to get out of it, and some of them never could. They definitely have to be strong themselves but besides that, I believe there's a way that we could all help them... We need to...
It's truly a sad case if this girl doesn't finally realize and get herself out of that situation soon....but I just wish I could help

Happy New Year?

2012-01-06T02:16:00.003+07:00

It's January... But I want to take life back to December. I love December. It's probably a time to celebrate the past year and to welcome many more 'my' moments of the following. Every year, December always mean something so special to me... Always. I'm not too sure why but I just take so much time to reflect, to appreciate and thank things around me. I'm not a great soul I believe, cuz I only seem grateful of life in December. But that has always been the case. Let's not worry too much why and when I appreciate life. Let's, instead, look back.

2011 may not have been the greatest and most fun year for me; there was just too many things going on that I didn't do well in a single one. Besides the fact that I did screw up a lot in 2011, I think I have learnt quite a fair bit and grew into a whole new person in this past year too. And because I'm certainly glad for the person who I have become, I'm not going to mention the things that went wrong or the mistakes I made, all cuz it's the past and nothing can be done to them but just to reflect upon them and make sure they don't happen again.

And the few things I am grateful for...
First of all, I want to thank God for making me have constant faith in Him and for making me believe that no matter what could go wrong, everything will be okay sooner or later. I always told myself to keep that in mind all the time, that it's just a mini test that will disappear; and perhaps they really did disappear :)

Second, I want to mention how grateful I am for having met some new people who I feel connected and trust so much; perhaps also some old friends who I feel reunited with again. They have all inspired me in a way or more. They were all there to listen so patiently to me, also frank and honest, yet always warm and reassuring. So cheers to better friendships :)

Third, I'm grateful for having gotten so many opportunities to travel this past year. Through these travels, I've learnt that it doesn't quite matter which corner of the world you are in; one will still long for happiness, whether it's happiness in the simplest of ways or sophisticated ones, they're still happiness. And that people everywhere struggles to find a place to belong to, a world where everyone is seen and not invisible; whether it was the cities of Malaysia, or countryside of Australia or even the slums of India... it's all the same, but the ways to that visibility may be different but I am sure that one day people will know of their true purpose of existence :)

Last but not least, I am grateful that I have a family. A family that may not be perfect but definitely a family, whether today or tomorrow, that is something that is not going to change :)

So with that, I want to welcome 2012... many more mistakes, many more lessons, many more smiles and a greater sense of fulfillment in Life...

Stay Happy, World!

Setafire 2011

2011-08-08T15:20:00.000+07:00

It's been almost 2 weeks since Setafire 2011 got over. And the blues have been here for awhile. Especially the fact that I've deactivated my facebook; disallowing me to be up to date with the photos from the camp. Yet, I'm gonna attempt writing bits from my own memory.

This year like the past, Setafire was a challenge but as always, challenges never seem to repeat itself. Setafire took a new dimension this year; incorporating filming. The program went rather smoothly; I can't really pinpoint what went wrong. Many things did, according to my memory. But I'm not gonna mention them but rather the good times; especially the friendships that have been revived and bonded again. Along with the new friends that I have made. Setafire has always been special in that aspect. The fact that we meet these awesome youths; along with the hill-tribes participants once a year; just make life feel even more worthwhile; even worth cherishing. Serving others especially the less fortunate; helping them in the easiest possible way is itself a pleasure. A pleasure that perhaps, living in the city can never provide.

I don't think I have words to say it all. So here are some pictures.

The scenic view of our mini town.

Camp Teeeeeee!

Our Teams

PLAY TIME!!!

Shower Schedule ;)

The Crew caught retarded!

And yet again, we have already started talking about next year's!

Honoring Shirin

2011-02-17T21:49:00.003+07:00

The death of Shirin came extremely sudden for all of us. She was just a kid; a four-year old kid to be specific. And the way she had to go was by far the least desired. But I personally believe that God has a plan for all of us and the He knows best. Maybe the death of beautiful Shirin could create a change for us, a good change perhaps. But this does not mean that I want her to go; I just believe that things are predetermined for us all.

Shirin has been in my life the last two years or so. And though, I found it rather hard to be friends with her at first, she finally accepted me; literally took quite a while :P And from the moment she considered me as her friend, I have enjoyed every bit of it. The times when she would drag me to play with her in her bedroom and tell me stories that were beyond any adult's imagination. I think we all would feel that way to any kid; it's just the fact that their souls are so pure, they just have no bad intentions for anyone. Shirin also loved to role-play; and she loved being a mummy cheetah; always wanting us to call her by that name, only then would she acknowledge us. And just two days before the accident, I met her at her school and she was drinking her cup of milk, asking me to play with her in the sand pit but unfortunately, I had to do some stuff so I couldn't and I remember how she said, "Please..."; Sigh; literally the most adorable thing to said by a kid. Just a week or so before that, a group of youths went for camping together; and Shirin tagged along. During that camp, we talked about how we could all come back and serve more in our communities but I remember one thing that was being said, discussed and agreed upon was the fact that, over that one weekend, Shirin grew the most as an individual, spiritually of course. She stopped being clingy over that weekend. And all of us were so impressed by her. And though Shirin may be gone now, I believe that she will be watching over us and will remain in all our hearts forever.

Shirin's funeral went by beautifully. And though she may just be four, she had almost 200 people present at her burial. Beautiful prayers said and chanted, pretty flowers put on her grave; I'd have to say, no better way to celebrate her life :)

Here is a writing that I want to share:-

“That beloved child addresseth thee from the hidden world: 'O thou kind Mother, thank divine Providence that I have been freed from a small and gloomy cage and, like the birds of the meadows, have soared to the divine world -- a world which is spacious, illumined, and ever gay and jubilant. Therefore, lament not, O Mother, and be not grieved; I am not of the lost, nor have I been obliterated and destroyed. I have shaken off the mortal form and have raised my banner in this spiritual world. Following this separation is everlasting companionship. Thou shalt find me in the heaven of the Lord, immersed in an ocean of light.”

(Abdu'l-Baha : Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, p. 20

More Kiddos... JOY

2011-02-05T20:39:00.001+07:00

So who says 7 & 8 year olds can't sit still and meditate? I just witnessed it myself today that they can. Today's children's class turned out amazing. Ten kids were present along with four JYs who worked with Yu. We started with prayers and later sang the "Love" song that we learnt last week. And we continue to discuss alittle deeper of the topic "Love"; of how we feel our parents's love towards us, our friends', etc. And we talked of how God's love to us could be compared to the rays of the sun, shining all over for everyone.

Then, I shared a story, and we did coloring. At first, I thought of how the coloring activity might turn out to be a bore for them and so I added alittle more excitement by making it compulsory for all of them to memorize the quote "In the garden of thy heart, plant not but the rose of love...". And to my surprise, every kid managed to memorize it and everyone of them were so engaged in their artwork and tried to do a good job. I was definitely impressed. And I saw so much change in them; maybe not much in some but there was change. The fact that they were all taking pride in their work was a great accomplishment.

Later, we played a small game which turned out a success; comparing to how much they usually complain to how they don't enjoy the games. And then we asked Mark to do alittle activity with them. So we had more drawing work, cartoon drawing though. But it involved everyone's cooperation. So they would sit in a circle and later music would be turned on and they could only draw one feature of the face and later, moved to the face on the left and draw another feature. We did this till all the six features were done and they would go back to their paper. Some of them were kind of disappointed the first round, erasing them off but the second round we told them that they couldn't erase but rather they had to name their character and appreciate the art their friends had tried to draw for them and surprisingly, no one erased it too. All happily named their characters. It was just incredible.

And lastly, we had our devotional meeting and that's when I saw the kids meditating for almost 2 minutes to a chant being played. That silence and peace was remarkable especially when it's done by 7 & 8 year olds. I really have no words to say for them. I realize that kids learn so quickly. We told them a couple of times about meditation and told how much we wanted them to try and how much we appreciate them trying ;)

Last of all, we had snacks. Today was definitely an incredible day :D

Life's Simple Pleasures

2010-12-05T10:36:00.001+07:00

Yesterday, my junior youth wanted our every two-month trip to the swimming pool and especially when our break is just a week or two away and we won't see one another for at least three weeks. When I got there yesterday, all of them were there, packed and ready to have a fun time ahead.

So, we gathered and said our prayers and as we were about to leave, we realized that we had to walk to the pool. And technically, it would take us about 25-30 minutes if we were to walk. So the JYs suggested that we rode bicycles there. First, I wasn't entirely for the idea especially when we had to ride the bike along the main streets and there would be so many cars. But then, I agreed after thinking of how long it would take us there if we walked and the JYs just would just have a short time at the pool.

As we took four bikes with six of us, we rode along the canal, then across a narrow wooden bridge and later along the pavement of the main street; up and down the hills and slopes; then cutting across the car park, and through a beautiful park and though the sun was scorching hot, I came to realize then that these were the little things that just make life so satisfactory. We could have just drove there by car, reaching within five minutes and had the entire two hours in the pool, but we didn't; it wouldn't have been the same experience anyway.

At the pool, the JYs searched for coins deep in the pool, then challenging themselves to swim across to the other side which turned out to be a swimming lesson for some of them. By the end of that session, one girl managed to swim across the pool and the happiness in her eyes and voice just can never be replaced by anything else at that moment for me. We then, bought some food and ate together where we later cycled back together.

Somehow, this experience has showed me that most times, we try to find happiness in the most elaborated things when technically, all the happiness we need is around us and they appear in the most simple of forms. It's really up to us to feel these little pleasures :)

The Hidden Truth

2010-10-03T22:47:00.002+07:00

Something I've learnt over a visit to the homes of my children is that they need all the love they could get. I always thought I knew my kids well; at least well enough to help them through their lives, may it be to give them advice, play and sing with them, draw or learn chants together. But not after yesterday, no. I came to know that, two hours spent with them each week isn't enough for me to know who they are, or how they feel, or what they love; because when they come for the children's classes, they adapt accordingly especially when they know it's with me, a children's class teacher who plays a different role from their families and school teachers. They know I'm a teacher in a way, but they never call me their teacher but rather their sister. And I guess that's been one of the reasons how we have bonded so soon and how much they love to come and hang out at the volunteer's house the moment they know that one of us gets there. It's such an amazing feeling to see them so excited to see us.

Back to yesterday, a couple of us went to one of the boy's houses, Tao, and we spoke to his aunt, whom he calls his "mum". We spent about half an hour or so there and this lady told us the stories that were so unexpected about this wonderful boy. She told us that Tao has been abandoned by his real parents. They left him with his aunt about a year ago and it's been a year ever since they visited Tao. That's so sad. And what's worse is that, Tao is old enough to know that he's been left by his parents, he often questions his aunt, "Why must I pray and thank God for giving me parents when they don't even visit me?". When I heard that, tears welled up in my eyes; I looked at Tao with such pity but I told myself that 'pity' would be the last thing he would ever want. All he wants would be just pure and genuine love. What saddened me more was the fact that Tao would call his parents asking them to visit him and when the day comes, they would never show up and he would end up crying. And even his birthday, they didn't show up. I wonder how this boy would turn out to be if he didn't have his aunt caring for him and it's not like his parents live that far away, they're in Bangkok and yet they don't pay him a single visit. I feel extremely sad, and all I want to do, is to give him all the love he could get. And from now on, I know better of the approach I should take when I speak to him. We also told his aunt that she's doing such a great sacrifice and the amount of blessing she would get for taking Tao in and not abandoning him. This definitely cannot be described.

We often don't give much importance about caring or expressing love for a child. And that's where we as human beings are wrong. Children are gems and it's we who need to reveal those treasures in them. 'Abdu'l-Bahá said:

"...the beloved of God and the maidservants must train their children with life and heart and teach them in the school of virtue and perfection. They must not be lax in this matter; they must not be inefficient."

I hope that from this post of mine, we all would pay more attention to children and visit them to learn more about them so they could get all the right help and love from us.

The Joy of Children's Class

2010-09-01T22:40:00.001+07:00

Today, I want to write on Children's Class, something I've considered as my favorite past-time. A couple of hours ago, I made a visit to a CC that I hardly go to. And I learned something really amazing. I learned that no matter what social class the children may come from, or how financially stable the teacher may be, it doesn't matter. No, it doesn't. All that matters it that, the children enjoy having you around as a teacher; they feel loved because you express love towards them; they feel wanted because you visit them even though you are so tired; they feel inspired because you do all it takes to make them a better person without yelling or hitting them. Isn't that a joy? As a teacher, you mean so much to them even without realizing it.

Today's Children's Class, its usually taught by 3 youths (16,15 & 14 years old). And the oldest one, Ploy got sick today and she didn't manage to come. And thus, no materials were brought because she's normally in charge of making sure that the things get there. So the other two youths, Mook & Kluay came empty-handedly. Here's where I got nervous when I knew about it. How were they going do the class? What about art activity? What about story-telling? What about color pencils? How was CC supposed to take place? All these questions ran through my mind. But guess what, Mook & Kluay managed it so well. They requested the kids to pray; chant whichever prayer they wanted. And the kids chose three prayers, all in English and Thai mind you. They all prayed, having their arms folded across their chests and their eyes closed. They looked so cute; unfortunately, I didn't have a camera with me. After the prayers, they sang (Ye are drops in English) with actions. Then, we played games together. And guess what, we had no materials with us! But that didn't allow the kids to have no fun. They picked up leaves to be cloths to pass to their friends and they used dried coconuts as balls. I was so so impressed by that. Even with the "natural toys", the kids had so much fun :)

Here's what it is, my friends and I might have been there to teach the kids. But at the same time, we learned something. And not just anything but something that could change our entire perspective on life; Learning isn't a one-way process. You don't just teach someone and learn nothing. You learn even when you teach and even if they are kids from broken families, they still inspire you as much as any other individual may. And that's why I love doing CC so much. I learn something every time I'm with them. And I always want to make them happy because I feel that they deserve to be. And at the same time, they make me happy too.

So, all they want from us is love. They learn to love, when they are loved. While I left today, I said goodbye to all of them and here's what they did, they ran to me and hugged me even though all I have spent with them was just an hour. It was such an amazing feeling and inspiration :)

- joy -

Looking back to where it all began...

2010-08-09T21:00:00.003+07:00

As I sat and watched NDP 2010, I saw my life again. I suddenly had the feeling of home once more; a feeling that I haven't gotten in a long while. I see myself a girl who was up and running, chasing a dream that was almost impossible at that time; a dream that has been lost and gone for a long time and now that it can be achieved, I don't see myself going for it any longer. Life has taken its turn for me, and not just now but rather a long time ago. Plans have changed, so have dreams. Now, I have new dreams and probably considered bigger and more realistic ones. However, these dreams sound so impossible to attain yet I know getting close enough would suffice. But that isn't why I'm writing here; that isn't what I wanted to share, not my dreams, no. It surprises me that I feel so energetic and lively in a different way than I usually am. And this feeling hasn't surround me in a freaking long time. I feel alive, like I usually do, just in a totally different way. I can't find the right words to express but I'm certain, that I'm happy once again; just the exact same happiness I had when I was here. But now, as life has changed, happiness too has changed for me. At times like these, I wonder if I could ever get back to where I was; if things could ever be the way it was for me, but I know deep down that it will never be the way it was again, never. Nevertheless, I'm happy; I'm happy for whatever that has come to my life eversince and I'm happy that God has given me all that I have had and I feel blessed. As I know for a fact, life shall not be what it was; because whatever that was back then, did give me the energy and joy I would love to have, but it also gave me fear and hatred. And that fear and hatred are all too much for me to handle right now and so, even with a choice, I don't think I would wanna choose to come back here again. Because it hurts. But I guess that that's where life is so beautiful, it gives sorrows and joys; and it even gives you places for you to store these sorrows and joys. This is what I feel as I sit here and reminisce...

Building Bridges Out Of The Walls

2010-08-02T23:00:00.000+07:00

The song below has been stuck in my mind for awhile. And I thought I should share, since it's a really good song too. It shows that if we work towards the same vision, we'll all achieve it no matter what :))

When the wall says stay away,
We’re from a different land,
Gonna tell them the earth’s one country,
We’re world citizens.

When the wall says stay away,
We both think differently,
Gonna tell them we are all
The leaves of just one tree.

When the wall say stay away,
We're from a different race,
Gonna tell them there's just one race,
The human race.

We’ll turn that wall into a bridge,
Take our brothers by the hand,
And walk across that bridge,
To the world God promised man.
We’re building bridges out of the walls,
Building bridges out of the walls,
Building bridges out of the walls
That keep us apart.

Setafire 2010

2010-07-29T19:40:00.001+07:00

   Another round of Setafire came and went. And so again, many many more memories to be treasured and collected in my little box of "Setafire Memory" in my left brain, or maybe right, I don't know. But it all comes down to one little thing, the participants enjoyed themselves and so did the tutors (at least that's what I feel). Four days of camp and almost two weeks of living together has made all of us, or at least for me, to be so attached to all the kids at the institute and other tutors. As always, there were many rough rides. These rides for this year include tutors going sick. Two ( Nadia & Sears) turned out to have gotten dengue. And they sort of suffered as they were move from hospital to hospital (even as they reached home). I feel sorry for them and would trade to be in their position. Being sick away from home doesn't sound fun and it isn't fun, trust me. And some other tutors who had minor illnesses.

   Nevertheless, the camp was a success AGAIN. Every year, mistakes are made and we learn from them; to make sure we don't repeat these mistakes next year. Anyway, why am I mentioning so much about the setbacks? Let's talk about the good parts...

   The performing arts this year was a massive production; which turned out awesomely awesome! Everyone did their part, and it looked professional. Professional at their level of course. And we shall be sure to help them improve it next year. The lessons, as they turned out, didn't go through that tough a ride either. Somehow, we managed to get help from all around and so, we succeeded in that sense.

   Well, I can't really think what else to mention. BUT, what made this Setafire a success once more was the number of participants; over a hundred of them and about 20 tutors. This was a record.

   What's more to be treasured is the times we spent together, the bond we shared, the frustrations that arose and needed to be hidden and all the little things that will make up memories... And so I would like to thank the tutors who came from all over to help: Nadia, Natasha A., Natasha G., Priya, Shervin, Eesha, Sears, Kavin, Kris, Dana, Brittany, Golee, Grace, Pasuda, Sunaree, Thotsaporn, Umporn, Sayan, Daddy, Allen, Benz, Kru O, and whoever else I may have left out :)

   One last thing, as usual more and more memories are being added to the collection; and yes, previous memories weren't forgotten either...

Banana Chips, The Saggy Dog, "Nadia Nadia with your long golden hair", Khao Soi

One thing that ought to go back up there is Paracetamol this time :D

Alright, so thanks again for all the people who helped Setafire and not forgetting the participants.

Now that is going on in me is the blues and I'm waiting for the next Setafire in 2011 :))

Coming to a Realization

2010-06-24T20:45:00.002+07:00

I'm only feeling the heat as I enter the last three weeks of classes before my summer. Never have I known how disturbing these weeks could be. I have just come to know that I was one point away from having to withdraw from the microeconomics course two days ago and that I have two and a half weeks left to fix it. And God only knows if I can. And my migration paper is due pretty soon. How soon, I'm not too sure. But what is discouraging is the fact that I have lost all inspiration to writing this paper. I'm not too sure if it's the topic or is it just me. Nevertheless, I do know that no matter what I'll have to push myself to complete it. Sigh...

As Thailand struggles for Peace

2010-05-19T19:59:00.003+07:00

Currently, a curfew has been imposed from 8pm to 6am tomorrow. This curfew is supposedly to be a time where police officers, army personnels and other CRES officials (Centre for the Resolution of the Emergency Situation) use this 10 precious hours to "restore peace and order" in restricted areas. We'll have to wait and see what happens tomorrow.

Questions run in people's minds right now. Will this curfew really help? Will peace ever be achieved here? I purposely used the word 'achieve' because it is true, effort is needed. Everyone is publicly expressing their thoughts and feelings towards this issue. Even feelings of hatred are expressed in such a manner that insults a certain group of people. Even if everything ends tomorrow, people and their prejudice will not go away. Sabotages will occur. Criticism will arise and probably most criticism will be based on "I'm educated and you aren't!"

What has Thailand come to? What happened to the Land of Smiles? Some just want to literally disown themselves from this country right now. Why so? To me, it's probably because people fear that a war might arise... A war that is needless. A war that will not help anyone. A war that will hurt the entire nation. This war would not necessary be a physical war but probably a war of thoughts and words. A war that could create a greater damage to not just the physical beings but probably all the elements of a human being: heart, body, mind and soul.

Nevertheless as people of this country and of the human race, we should hope and pray and more importantly work together towards a common understanding, PEACE. It isn't impossible to create peace especially with the current situation right now where everyone has the same desire... The desire to live together harmoniously without any bloodshed.

Don't we all just want Peace?

2010-05-16T03:44:00.004+07:00

Where is Thailand headed? With no signs of either parties giving in, this violence could be longer than most had thought. Latest updates confirms 22 dead and almost 180 injured in just two days of violence and maybe there could be more but unknown. Today, the army has said that it will begin to "take all measures and pressure" the red shirts to end the rally. This could mean more violence is expected and most probably more lives being lost.

When would both parties come together to sit and compromise? Neither would give in, so what happens now? Everyone shall die? The country shall lose its citizens?

Looking at it, both parties have very similar views towards the matter. Both want peace, democracy, justice and freedom. But the measures they take to attain them aren't very justifiable. But then again, who am I to say what is and what isn't justifiable.

Here are some words by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá years ago which I think it's still very relevant to the current situation in Thailand, nevertheless of the world too.

"...War is made for the satisfaction of men’s ambition; for the sake of worldly gain to the few, terrible misery is brought to numberless homes, breaking the hearts of hundreds of men and women! .... There is nothing so heart-breaking and terrible as an outburst of human savagery!"

So yeah, as much as violence or war may seem to be helping all of us gain something in a way, it basically does not. It hurts people and kills hopes.What would help us unite again is basically love and understanding. According to Abdu’l-Bahá,

"... When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love."

So when will the people stop and come to an understanding? Are we all forgetting that Thailand is a country which comprises people, an entire population of 62 million and not just those who are in the fight right now? I'm not going to mention who's right and who isn't. The fact is that I don't know myself. But now isn't the time to try to prove who's wrong. Now is the time to create peace. Maybe Thailand will only come back up again when it goes way down down down and maybe then it would realize that this isn't what it wants.

I hope and pray that Thailand will be united again. And I'm sure everyone else would say the same no matter which party you may be in, or which region you may come from... We just want peace.

Here is a video I found http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1416726932472

Freedom of the Press?

2010-05-06T21:40:00.004+07:00

Well, I'm currently taking courses that are considered pretty "sensitive" in Thailand. What was so intriguing to me was the fact that these magazines and reports that I get from my lecturers are so in detail about certain issues such as Human Trafficking and stuff. And what surprised me more was the fact that under every sub-heading of these matters, there is an example of Thailand, the current problems on these issues which take place in Thailand. And what amazed me most was the fact that these magazines and reports can not be found in Thailand. They're either not published or not for sale.

So what can we learn from this? Thailand doesn't want its people to know the matters that aren't so humane that is taking place in the country which partly shows how unaware the people here are about what's going on within their country. It all links back to the argument whether Thailand has Freedom of the Press. Half of the news about certain issues are not published entirely. People have no clue of what's happening! We're all becoming ignorant, don't you think?

I'm blessed, so are you!

2010-02-12T03:17:00.001+07:00

It's obvious that this isn't my usual time blogging. But it just struck me... And not just struck me, but struck me real hard.

I'm am blessed, people! I totally am.

Having this 2010 begin with an uncertainty and confusion, I wasn't sure I would be having a great year ahead. But guess what??!!! Things have totally change in the last couple of weeks or so. It's been so good. And I hope it will continue to be this year.

This trimester... I just got the best timetable after being in college for like over a year now.... THE BEST! Well, so much freetime! And next to that, freaking awesome exam schedules. I couldn't love it more although the finals' schedule is bad but what I mean is that, as of now, it totally rocks :)

And adding to all these greatness-es.... I have great people around me. Without these wonderful souls, I don't know how I'll be running my day to day activities.

So yeah... What more could better?

Feel the awesome-ness of your lives for your own sake, people!

Book :D

2010-01-29T21:15:00.002+07:00

Hmmm... so yes, I should say John Grisham did intrigue me :) I enjoyed his book although the ending wasn't so much of a "thriller". I think that's the case for many books that I've read. Somehow the book is always so good until the last couple of chapters... It all gets 'usual'. I wonder why. Is it that towards the end, writers run out of ideas? But maybe it's also a way of showing that not all books/stories need to have "perfect" or "ideal" ending. Whatever it is, 'The Associate' did make me not wanna do law. Haha... You might say that the book is a novel but then it could be partly true too. I believe that to be able to write well, one needs to have the inspiration. And so, where do writers get insipiration from? And I suppose it's from the everyday life. Even J.K Rowling was inspired to writing Harry Potter while she was on the train. On the train... How the hell did those kind of ideas come up, we as readers often question.

Ah well... here's the cover for 'The Associate' incase you wanna read and make sure what I just said about the ending was wrong. Haha

Anyway, I have picked up another unread book from my collection "What the dog saw" by Malcolm Gladwell. Well, one of my cousins gave it to me after knowing that I took sociology once before and he mentioned it was a 'must read'. And yes, have to admit, the way Malcolm looks at things is pretty interesting. He did mention that we shouldn't judge a story/article just by the way we feel towards it. It's pretty obvious that we can't be agreeing with everything a person thinks or feels. But perhaps, we could try to look at it like the author just did :)

Peace xD

P.S. tell you more about the book when I finish reading it & yes, The Associate will be in cinemas this awesome year of 2010 !

All I can say is...

2010-01-09T21:56:00.004+07:00

LIFE IS WONDERFUL

Well, there could be soo many ups and downs. Excitements and disappointments... But then it all comes down to ME... How I wanna handle each problem and move on.... How I turn each disappointment into excitement. How I look forward to each new day and not fear that it would be like yesterday's.... That's why I love life. I could probably say that my life is controlled by me!

December has come :)

2009-12-01T13:10:00.003+07:00

Woo Hoo! December has arrived! I don't know why i'm so excited but yes, i am. It's when i reflect back on my past year and plan for my new year resolution. How organized! But yes, SO FAR, 2009 resolution has been done. SO FAR... its cuz 2009 isn't over yet. And that the last 2 weeks of dec could probably ruin it. But then again, i'm hoping it doesn't.
Anyway, i'm on my way home after class. It's been a really tiring day. I think i'm gonna fall sick thats why. 0ok, PEACE!

Jazz Charity Concert @ muic

2009-11-26T03:14:00.002+07:00

The Charity Concert sponsored by Thai Airways turned out really well for some reason. It was held in an open area with tall trees and we had to put mats to sit around. Pretty good. And all the songs were jazzy so it was relaxing too. The money from the sales of food, mats and T-shirts go to one of the children homes in Nakhon Pathom. And about 10 kids around 4 years of age from that home came too. They were so adorable, thanking us in unison. Definitely put in some time and effort to memorize that. Haha. And one sang songs too. Pretty fun. I'm glad I attended it. It was one of those concerts organized for charity and the atmosphere was something you don't really get often for a concert.
PEACE XD

A day in Chiang Mai with Kavi

2009-11-22T15:58:00.006+07:00

I'm currently on the 9 hour bus ride back to Bkk. I came to Chiang Mai on friday morning since Kavi was here. We had fun yesterday. Went to ride elephants, fed them and watched them play soccer. Kavi went on stage to dance MJ too. Haha. Also, I met Yi Yun. Pretty unexpected. We had dinner last night at Shangri-la. How "hi-so". Haha. I got the bus this morning. So will be reaching home in about 2 hours. Maybe the flight would have been better somehow. But so freaking expensive. It costs 10 times the bus ride. Not so worth it i say. Anyway, it was a good 48 hours in Chiang Mai. The weather was awesome. Also met P Um, Pasuda, P Nueng, and P Fah. And yes! P Gee called when I was there. It feels like he has sixth sense like that, knowing that I was there. Anyway, he invited me to go hiking next month, 40 km from Omkoi and the highest point on the mountain. Sounds fun. Let's see! Will try to get some people to go too.

As for now, I'm feeling a little car sick already. That's it for now.

Another success :D

2009-11-15T14:17:00.002+07:00

Today's celebration cum party cum "get to know" session was a success, I think. Around 70 kids and probably another 30 adults came along. It was nice to see. We started with devotionals, having the kids chant a couple of prayers. Then, we had a presentation. It wasn't so great cuz the kids were all making noise. I mean, the presentation was good and obviously, we can't expect the kids to sit through something not so their level. Then, we had performances. Also a big hit. We had like, what... 5 performances (3 of dance, a song, & a drama). All performances were done by different groups of CC so it was sort of a variety. And the JYs also came up to share their learning experiences. Some were shy. But it's really normal. The shy-ness will only go away when they do more of it :)

So I guess we now know our COI. And also, with today's stuff, parents did agree to have a new CC begin in one of their homes. Age 3-5. They're supporting it so it's a good sign. And then one of the grandma of the CC came up to me and asked for my permission. I was like wth. Then she explained saying that she likes the idea that we teachers are very warm and nice to the kids. And she sees a connection between us and the children. And she wants to have this point shared in her grand-daughter's school during their monthly meetings with 70 other parents. To let everyone know how a learning place should really be. She was thanking me and she wai me. That was weird. Come on, no adult should ever wai any younger person. I guess she was really sincere about it. She also did mention that she sees a change in her grand children. I'm glad that the CC is creating a transformation in the children's lives. Furthermore, at the end of the day, as they all left, we were so surprised at how clean the place was. I mean, having 70 children eat and play there.... we didn't exactly expect it to be neat and clean. But of course, we didn't vision it to be dirty and untidy either. We were just impressed. So, maybe all these lessons taught and time spent with them isn't going to waste anymore...

Another success story to be kept and retold :D

The end of "The time traveler's wife"

2009-11-12T13:55:00.009+07:00

Woo HOO!
Finally, I finished the book. It was sort of an interesting book that I literally forced myself to finish it fast. The ending was good too... However, I shall not say a thing about it since my Juditto is just beginning to read the book:P

Weekend

2009-11-08T18:12:00.003+07:00

I haven't really been up to anything extremely interesting lately. Gym-gym with May yesterday morning, Reflecton meeting yesterday afternoon, Salsa fest last night... :P Long day it was, yet fun.

Last Friday afternoon, I was at the doctors. They gave me a new appointment (on next fri). In the evening, visited Scotland to meet the children. I felt happy to see the kids and they were glad to see me (all smiles).

Now, writing the report for EC tmrw. I'm surprised of how much I have done in so little time. Normally, I sit right in front of it for hours. However, NOT today. I guess it was cuz i didnt go online :P

Today's Children's Class was great too. I had fun although i didnt prepare the lesons well enough. I'm amazed that even after a month break, they can still remember the quotes... Credits to them :D They drew pretty cool stuff too. Told them to draw how they could help the community... One boy, he drew himself saving the dead. I was like "UMM... how again?" And then, he started explaining. ...He being the paramedics arriving at the accident scene and help carry the body away. LOL. How interesting children's imagination could be. Then, we praticed our chanting for next week's party... Was fun :)
Can't wait for next week's party :D

Oh man... And so, another weekend comes to an end. Another week of classes... assignments and so on... BRRRR...
Yet, I'm looking forward :D
PEACE XD

Feeling of Nothingness

2009-10-17T15:31:00.004+07:00

Phew...

I'm doing my assignment on Anger and listening to Rob Thomas while my friends in S'pore and India are enjoying their Deepavali celebrations =.= I'm trying to write a rather beautiful and "capturing" paper. It's not easy... Brrr. Especially, when I'm still struggling here. The feeling of me missing Ta has disappeared ever since we went to the sea the other day. Sometimes, I forget that he's gone. It doesn't feel too right for me. And sometimes, I don't even think of him as if he never came into this world... the imperfect world of chaos.

I've to admit, I'm really down. I don't like being with people anymore. I don't feel like going out. I don't feel like doing anything for anyone. I just want to be by myself doing what I 'have' to and not do things for others 'voluntarily'. It doesn't sound exactly like the 'me' that I was a month ago. I HAVE issues. And I guess I haven't taken enough time to deal with them and pull myself together. I'm basically, living each day as I desire. The desire to just be by myself and myself only. Everyone is probably thinking what has gotten into me. But right now, I don't give a damn. I just want to be alone...

The feeling of nothingness has seized me. It's like I don't see things worthy anymore. Like I said, my sadness turned into anger and rebelliousness and now, it has turned to nothingness. My feelings are weird. And I wonder how long more will I be this way. Cuz I don't like the 'me' that I'm being. I'm so outgoing and sincere. Now, I'm basically antagonistic and reserved. And to add to that... boring.

Sigh. I guess I have to start picking up the pieces... right away. Cuz this stuff is not just troubling me but many others around me <<< not easy >>>

Three weeks of overwhelmingness

2009-10-10T00:11:00.003+07:00

The last three weeks have been really overwhelming, tiring and emotional. I lost two people in my life... whom influenced me in atleast a way and definitely more, I'm sure.
First was Ta, he was such a great person. He inspired me till his very last moment. We spoke and had fun together all these years. Unfotunately, he had to leave due to liver cancer which we found out 2 years ago. Somedays, I forget that he isn't around anymore. I feel his presence around me till today although when I walk up to his room, he isn't there physically. I miss him...
Second was Ritiki... the friend who was always so patient and brave... always listened to people... She was just beautiful both inside and out. I still remember the week we spent our Christmas and New Year together having long talks and chilling out with others. She used to give my head massages which always felt so good. She was just comforting me when Ta died. And 12 days later, she leaves :(
I felt so numb. Death happened all too quickly for me. I didn't have any feelings when Ritiki left and I just didn't know how to feel. Her death was sudden...
It's been only 5 days since Ritiki left. I'm trying to understand my feelings. However, as times passes, this sadness of mine is turning into anger and rebelliousness. I feel stubborn and agitated when things don't go exactly the way I want them too. We're all defeated by death so I know it's not just me who's feeling this way. I need help, but I don't know in what way. This week has just been tough. Assignments are flooding in and I can't not do them and say that I lost someone. It's just not right. I guess I need to learn to move on... quickly. I'm trying, I am. It's just hard. And I hate myself to feel this way... The rebelliousness is so not me :(
I need to get well...

R.I.P Ta & Ritiki...

Summer '09

2009-09-16T13:23:00.003+07:00

*phew*
I have to admit that I'm glad that summer's coming to an end in a couple of days. It's just that ever since I came back from Kl, life for me has just been boring and "unproductive". I've just been doing lesson plans for Children's Class, watching movie after movie (sometimes, I just love the dvd stores), discussing about Nonthaburi's status and the solution, surfing the net on average more than 2.5 hours a day (which is abnormal for a person like me, especially through my mobile). Sigh, not healthy. And of course, preparing for the trip to Battambang, I'm excited though. I'm travelling so much this holiday.

I'm currently, looking forward to next summer. Don't really know why. I just had a great time this year. Apart from the last 2 weeks, I had a very productive summer. From being back home in Singapore for a week which I had fun with friends and family although I really wish I was there longer, the 2 weeks spent in Omkoi allowing Setafire to be another success, and the 1 week spent in Malaysia with the coolest people I know, it was all memorable :)

Happy to be moving onto my 2nd academic year at IC although I'm not officially off the GE list (sigh). I hope I have a great year...

The Court and Me

2009-08-25T23:24:00.002+07:00

Oh man, it's been a while since I stepped on that court. And when I did yesterday, that was it... The feeling was remarkably indescribable. I felt like I was me. Being on the court, has always calmed me down. It's almost like the feeling of me being in the bathroom, and no one could do a thing to me all because I'm in the washroom. I felt like I could do anything on that court... Jump as high as I wish, run as fast as I want, throw the ball as hard as I desire, and nobody could stop me, all because that's what we do on that court! There were 10 others on that court, and it still didn't matter to me.

As we know, the coach could change, so could the teammates. But the thing that I felt that didn't differ from the many times I have played in the past, was the court. Every moment I felt tired and took a break from the runs and passes, I got right back up onto my feet to go on playing. I don't quite know what helped me up there.

Then there was a time when we were doing circuits and fast passes, I tripped on my footwork and fell onto the ground, hurt my "already injured" ankle. A part of me was waiting for some senior to come pick me up. But then, I knew, no one will help me up. Maybe they would but they wouldn't in the future. With this, I feel quite nostalgic for SL.

Coach wants me to take these trainings more seriously and go for more sessions. But I don't see why I should. After all, I'm just there to enjoy the session. Still, he has a point.

It isn't as easy as I had thought. It needs so much of effort, endurance and perseverance to just go through the training session. It also takes me 2 hours to get to that court. But then, a cousin of mine questioned, "What's 2 hours of a life-time?" After reading that and another from Pomi saying, "So what if it's 2 hours? If it makes you feel like your at the top of the world then why not?", I agreed that they have a point. They're right. What will that 2 hours do to me? And I go there for the feel. Like said, the feeling of being on that court and being so focussed to the thing I enjoy refreshes me. So screw the 2-hour ride.

Setafire 09 is done

2009-08-22T16:20:00.004+07:00

Hmm... a year went by so fast. Another Setafire camp also went in the blink of an eye. All the excitement and longing disappeared, but now, again, it begins for the next one in 2010. Whatever it is, this year's Setafire was another success story to be kept and retold. Like always, there were ups and downs. However, we all managed to handle them well enough to pull through that 2 weeks together.

Worked with the human beings who were excited to come back to Thailand or Omkoi to be specific. Everyone was energetic and ready. Nadia was another great person. She was tough and strong. She made my trip there worth the 9-hour bus ride :P And of course the others, Natasha, Scott, Sears, Kavin and yes, the new additions to the team, Ping and P Aek. The souls which were moved by the people in Omkoi. And not forgetting the youths who came back to help us. P Fah and Sayan. There were many who couldn't be there physically. But they were supporting us from wherever they were. And the team approeciates it.

I didn't get to spend time with the team out of Omkoi that much. Didn't really have one of those long talks with my dearest Pine. But we did hang out... Kao Soi and Banana Strips were remembered from the last Setafire. And as always, there's something new to treasure and ponder upon over and over again...
~"Nadia, Nadia with your long golden hair"~
~Scott's rapping video~
~Painting the place~
~My banana cravings~
~The old saggy dog~
I'm sure that there's more. Just can't really remember them all right now. But we will as we meet all over again.

Next year, we've got plans. YAY! But it's a year from now. Sigh. I'm just glad that all of us made use of summer breaks in the right way. And yes, we have to thank the Omkoi youths for being part of our camp. Without them, Setafire wouldn't be complete.

From me personally, I had a great time. I learnt a lot. And I can't wait for the one next year :D
Thanking everyone who helped in Setafire 09 for sacrificing their time, adjusting to the difficult circumstances and giving in all their efforts.

Omkoi brings the best in people~~

Sociology 113

2009-01-10T17:06:00.004+07:00

Yesterday’s sociology was interesting. We talked about marriage in different cultures. What do women in North America marry for? And what do women in Asia (India) marry for? People don’t necessary marry because of love. In certain cultures, people marry because they are forced or their marriage was arranged.

Women in N. America mostly don’t marry for support. These women are, generally, independent. They go for men who are emotional and sentimental. Someone who would take them to a symphony concert! They don’t need a man to support their daily life. Thus, they do not hesitate to divorce when they fall out of love. Dale talked about a friend of his who has divorced and gotten married 8 times. EIGHT! Wow! All because that she is well-educated and does not need a man who she doesn’t love in her life.

While women in India, are forced to marry men who are wealthy and educated. So, that they are supported throughout their lives. Even when they fall out of love, they will still have to live with that dude. Half of the time, these women weren’t even in love with their husbands when they got married as they were forced to get married.

So basically, education makes a difference to women’s lives. Who they marry depend on how educated they are. That’s why the UN is supporting the idea of educating women. This idea of who a woman marries depend on her education never came to my mind. I never thought of it this way. But after Dale talked about it, I started to agree.

First week of uni

2009-01-07T22:58:00.003+07:00

Sigh sigh. nothing to blog about. i still don't know the name of my english lecturer. he asked everyone's name. but i guess he forgot to introduce himself. weird. but i find him fun. he speaks practical stuff. quite logical. for math... damn! i'm still not sure if i will pass this term. the guy has difficulties explaining! shoot! he has to explain a couple of times before i go, "awwww... ok got it!" well, sociology is fairly interesting too. it's my largest class. has about 50 of us. 5 of whom i know. haha. but of course i did get 2 new friends. TWO! that's somewhat good for a start i guess. and for french... haha. well, it's alright. the pronunciation is weird and funny. aim is like in these courses with me. so it isn't bad.

Hmm... i also just realized that i can't make it to the freshman camp which falls exactly on 31 jan-1 feb. sad sad. although i have told my seniors... none of them has taken it seriously. they still think they can convince me about changing my mind. i still don't know how to explain it to them.

my outings

2008-12-27T20:04:00.009+07:00

So, my christmas outing wasn't that fantastic. but it was definitely better than nothing. the eve started with me meeting su at chatuchak. on my way there, i experienced some probs. but when we met, we went to have dinner at secret recipe. i had pasta!!! and su had some pepper chicken steak. and we had the choc mud cake. tasted good! we also bought cake for kie. a special order from her. we then, went to meet gael [who was having a family dinner at rama 5] later on, went to stay over at e ing's place. talk and ate junk before sleeping.

The next day, we all [gael, kie, fern, su, pai & i] went for a movie at central world. the movie, to me, was horrible. all because it wasn't my kind of thing. then, we took pictures outside the mall. pretty interesting until it got all crowded and i had to head home. su, fern and i left first. that was it i guess.

Yesterday, went to watch madagascar with yu at central chaeng. the movie was fun. wacthing the movie made me think of kavi and sasha so much. anyway, i met mr batman. according to those people, they said he was real... all the way from states [which i certainly doubt]. but i managed to get a pic with him. was cool.
that was it. this new year eve would be pretty boring for me, i'm sure. my plan is screwed. i was so wanting to go to omkoi. but cuz of the stupid tickets. it all ran out!! sigh. so now, stay home instead.

it has been some time

2008-12-23T00:12:00.000+07:00

i wasn't very keen about blogging for the past 1 year. just didn't know why. always went against the idea. and today, when i finally made up my mind to start blogging again... i can't add my blog skin. judith was helping me. and still nothing happened. ridiculous. so... i guess blogging isn't for me after all. anyway, will give it a try again.
that's it.