Hitting Life's Pause Button

I may have been asked to come to Cambodia for a training on community development. But I certainly feel like I learnt more about myself and life than anything else. It's kind of funny that I wanted to name this post as "Rediscovering Life" but then I figured that I wasn't quite rediscovering after all, I was more of discovering things I never quite knew before. So, as of now, I'm sitting in a Cambodian village, surrounded by coconut and palm trees, cows and chickens walking around. How often can you actually experience this living in the city? 

I've been here for over three weeks, where the training would take place in the mornings and the visit to villages in the afternoons. The visits would often be in the middle of villages with wooden houses that have their 1st floor opened, usually a pond between homes, gates made of sticks, a flight of wooden steps leading to the house which usually comprise of one big room used for sleeping together. The people are just too nice too. I remember that I terribly needed the bathroom, and this Cambodian friend of mine just walked over to a home and asked if I could use her bathroom and she allowed. I mean, how often do you see something like that happening in the city? People in the city struggle to invite one another in to just have a drink and chat together, so forget about asking someone for the bathroom when you need one.

What I really like most is not just the houses, or the people who are so kind and welcoming, but also just the different settings I get to see as I travel to these villages. The fields were so green, far and wide, it was almost like looking into a never ending green landscape of fields. And the sky! The sky is so blue, with real clouds, white and distinct; unlike the stuff you see in the city. And when the skies got grey before the rain, I could literally see the dark shades of grey forming over kilometers away from where I was, could tell that a rain was coming. I live in the city too much, I cannot tell when the rain would come because the sky is often grey all day anyway. And the night sky here is often filled with stars; often more than 30 stars. I struggle to find just one back home. And the moon is often so bright, very comforting in a way. It was really amazing to just see nature at its best. 

One of the days, I remember the sky started pouring as two of my other friends and I hopped onto this one motorbike riding it for over 30 minutes, having the rain beating our skins. It was painful, cold and muddy. But I remember telling myself to just take it all in, appreciate the sky, enjoy getting wet and just laugh and smile about it; cuz seriously, I don't know when is the next time I would be that adventurous again. When we got to the village, we were all drenched but then again, I remember how I just smiled and laughed even when I felt uneasy. That day got even better, when 2 other friends and I drove in the muddy roads to get to another village, the bike kept slipping that eventually 2 of us got off and started walking the rest of the way, getting all our legs dirty. And yet, I tried to enjoy. But the best part of all was when all of us with 5 bikes rode back to main town, through the rice fields, singing and jumping on our bikes and thanking God what a wonderful day we had and that's when my bike's tires burst! So we pushed it parts of the way, and then squashed 4 people on each of the rest of the bikes and rode back parts of the way till we found a mini garage (village style) to fix it and later when done, we all rode back together. I can't at all describe how adventurous that day was, but, it was truly a remarkable day. Even the friends I met over this trip are beautiful people. I remember saying to few of them how I feel like I'm being in a fantasy storybook. Life almost paused and everything, little or big, was just perfect in its own way.

But beside all these adventures, I have to admit, I've got to know myself more and more; so many questions go through my head each day. Questions about myself, my family and my future. Too many questions I must say, that sometimes it gets a little annoying. But at this point in time, I'm not going to choose to answer every of my question. I'm just going to breathe and take every moment here back with me. Every one of these moments are worth remembering and thinking about it over and over again. Challenges come and go anyway, so might as well just pause.

I have about 5 days left here; to be with nature, coconut and banana trees, chickens and cows...